


Chapter 16 : The nightmare

by Myril_Chan



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:33:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29352009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myril_Chan/pseuds/Myril_Chan
Summary: Ymlaïs's biggest dream turn into a nightmare, because nightmare tainted her reality. Then the heart keeps silent."The horror of her nightmare could not leave her because it was true. What she had seen was now her dearest dream. But it would never come true. Her blood was cursed. Their blood was cursed. Tainted forever. They would always attract the darkspawns to them and forever leave a trail of death in their wake. To save her life and the world, she had condemned herself to a perpetual violence that would never leave her in peace. She had no future. They had no future. No other destiny than to fight over and over until their blood turns them into monsters. !”
Relationships: Alistair/Female Mahariel (Dragon Age), Alistair/Female Warden (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

_In the middle of the camp, young children play drawing in the ground with sticks, they all have a thin body and long ears. All of them, except a little girl with long red curls and big hazel eyes, slightly more stocky, who protrudes them by half a head and whose ears are rounded. In the distance an incongruous noise near a dalish camp can be heard: the steps of a horse. For the little girl this sound is the sweetest of all, because it only means one thing:_   
_« Daddy! Daddy is back! »._

  
_Forsaking her friends, she run to meet the rider who quickly dismount to open his arms. She jumps around his neck and feels lifted up from the ground._   
_"How is my little ray of sunshine?"._   
_"I’m fine..."_   
_The child is interrupted by the cheerful yapping of a big mabari who jumps around them, it makes her laugh. «Falon is happy to see you»._   
_"Are you happy to see me, too?"._   
_The child giggles: "Of course! I missed you."_   
_"How much did you miss me? ‘Wanna show me?". The little girl hugs her father as hard as she can._   
_“Wow! That much!” The child nods. “I missed you too, sweetie…”._   
_The man kisses on the cheek the little girl who exclaims: « Your beard scratches me daddy! You should shave it off, I prefer when you’re soft. The other dads don’t have beards, why do you have one?”._   
_“For the same reason I don’t have sharp ears: because I am human, and humans have round ears and are beardy.”_

  
_An elderly elf whose face is covered with volutes and arabesques approach them:_   
_“Andaran atishan Vhenallin. What news do you bring Alistair ? »_   
_Resting the little girl on the ground, he whispers in her ear: "You go tell Mom?". The child nods and goes to one of the aravels of the camp while the man brings his attention to the elf:_   
_« They are rather good, Keeper. The local lord welcomes you to his lands and has assured me he will ensure that his soldiers or his subjects do not disturb you. However, he asks you to avoid showing yourself in public places as much as possible. He is afraid that your presence too close to the villages would cause concern and that some residents would take advantage of it to commit crimes in the hope of blaming the dalish. He will send traders and craftsmen to trade with you. It is not an ideal situation, but I couldn't get any better”_   
_“That’s a lot more than we’ve always had. But I hear you keep talking about “you” and not “we”. You still don’t feel like one of us, do you? »_   
_“I’m not sure everyone here recognizes me as one of yours either, Keeper.” Answered the warrior by unsaddling his horse before entrusting it to the good care of the halla keeper._   
_« That’s true. It will take time before the barriers between humans and elves fall. But our relationship with humans has improved considerably since you’ve been acting as an ambassador for us to their lords. And I’m grateful for that. »_   
_« You welcomed me and my family, Keeper, like one of yours. It’s the least I can do. Speaking of my family, I see the mother of my children and… I’m dying to go and greet her if you don’t mind.” »_   
_"Of course." The keeper replied with a smile: "Go Lethallen, we’ll talk later.»._

  
_In the distance, an elf with long wavy red hair and big blue-grey eyes carries in a wrap tied across her bust a sleeping baby. Despite her tired features, her face is radiant. Alistair’s smile extends as he joins her. Looking tenderly at the infant whose mouth still opens on his mother’s breast, he asks: "How is my son? »_   
_“Good. He just fell asleep.”_   
_"And how is my wife?" asked Alistair, approaching his face to the elf’s._   
_« I feel suddenly great. I wonder why…”. She answers by kissing him lightly on the lips while he gently hold her face in his hands._

  
_Suddenly a clamor in the forest can be heard. A war cry, followed by the noise of the metal rubbing and squeaking. The hunters of the clan rush on their weapons, ready to fight._   
_Ymlaïs looks in the direction of the noise with concern: "The lord’s men?"_   
_One of the watchers shouts out: "Darkspawns !”._

  
_A black line is drawn through the trees, like a cloud made of moving metal that falls on the clan. Alistair draws his sword and turns to Ymlaïs, yelling to her to take shelter with the children. The horde of darkspawns pours like a wave of violence and death on the dalish. The bodies fall under the blows of axes and swords, the aravels ignite under the balls of fire thrown by the emissaries, the cries of the shriekers resound in the clearing and paralyze the hunters, terrorize the mothers and make the children cry. Soon it’s chaos and the Elves get overwhelmed._

  
_Alistair joins his wife who, still holding the baby on one side, hold a short sword in her other hand. "The camp is lost, we must leave!"._   
_A woman in tears leaning over the corpse of her husband points at them, screaming and her voice echoes in the midst of the clashes: “It is because of them! It’s all their fault!”. Another elf adds: “They are Grey Wardens, their blood is cursed. ». Then another: “They are the ones who lured these creatures here. Their blood is tainted, their blood attracts them. We have collected misfortune within our clan." An old elf comes up with crazy eyes: "They are the ones they come looking for! Let them take them! Let us give them!" He grabs the little girl by the arm, and his father rushes to stop him but the mabari runs over the elf and grabs him by the throat. The old man collapses at the foot of the child who starts screaming. Getting up to her, Alistair grabs her by the shoulders and tries to reassure her but the child screams unabated looking at her hands: “Daddy! Daddy, what’s happening to me?”. The hands turn black, the skin cracks. When the child looks up at her father, they are injected with blood. «Daddy! Mama! Do something! Mama! MAMA!». Ymlaïs helplessly attends the monstrous metamorphosis of her child while shouts can be heard: “Their blood is cursed! Cursed! Their offspring are cursed ! We are cursed!” The child is unrecognizable now, her skin is blackened, decrepit, her hair is scattered on her skull and her gaze has become vicious. She throws herself on her father and bites him in the neck, ripping off a whole piece of flesh from her fangs, the blood squirts, the warrior howls and collapses. Ymlaïs tries to intervene but a dazzling pain in the chest stops her._   
_Looking down, she sees her baby biting her breast to the blood. It is no longer a baby, it is a monster like his sister who looks at his mother with a bloody look. Falling to her knees, in a desperate reflex, the young mother tears her child from her breast and throws him to the ground before reaching out to him, crying: “Oh, my baby. What did I do? ». But the infant grabs her mother’s hand to bite her again and she screams with pain. Forcibly opening the child’s lower jaw with her other hand, Ymlaïs wriggles out and retreats, sword stretched out. She looks up to see the camp in flames and the darkspawns slaughter her clan. The voices continued to shout “Cursed!”, “Defiled!”, “Woe!”. The baby’s wails are hideous while the little girl who devoured her father’s corpse raises a monstrous face on her mother, her mouth is covered with blood._


	2. Chapter 2

9:31 DRAGON - Around Denerim

Ymlaïs awoke in tears and dripping with sweat. Her whole body was seized with tremors and she remained for several minutes under the shock of the terrible nightmare. Getting back to reality, she tried to calm down but felt nauseous and could not get rid of the filthy images in her mind.  
She lit a candle to drive out the darkness and opened a wooden box. Inside was a dried red rose. She closed the box with a sudden gesture and took her head in her hands.   
The horror of her nightmare could not leave her because it was true.   
What she had seen was now her dearest dream. But it would never come true. Her blood was cursed. _Their_ blood was cursed. Tainted forever. They would always attract the darkspawns to them and forever leave a trail of death in their wake. To save her life and the world, she had condemned herself to a perpetual violence that would never leave her in peace. She had no future. _They_ had no future. No other destiny than to fight over and over until their blood turns them into monsters. 

When she had joined the Grey Wardens, she had nothing in mind but to try to kill as many darkspawns as possible during the time that had been offered to her by the Joining. Then she found herself a new goal : to survive long enough to raise an army to fight the Archdemon and its horde.... And that was it.   
And then he entered into his life, with his strength and his gentleness, his immense heart and his wits, his touching clumsiness, his humility and his hazel eyes. And with him had returned the sensation of a happy and normal life. He had flooded his daily life with tenderness in the midst of the fighting and she had begun to dream, to hope, that there would be an “after”. 

When she had sought comfort from Wynne, whom she took for the wisest of the group, the answer of the mage had been like a stab. No, there would never be a normal life again; only duty and death. And then Wynne understood, of course, she had seen the looks, the hands that were secretly searching each other, their increasingly frequent isolation. Ymlaïs thought she would be pleased, but on the contrary, she had tried to warn her about the dangers and the impropriety of this relationship. It made her angry. 

When Alistair felt abandoned after her interview with her sister, she said, confirmed that she cared about him, that she would always be there for him. But now.... It was hard to admit, but Wynne was right . She hated her for it, but she was right. 

Her head hurt, she needed air, she went out.   
Alone in the midst of darkness, away from the encampment, a blanket on her shoulders, she let the wind cleanse her heart that could not find peace.

She heard a noise behind her and quickly wiped her eyes. Someone sat next to her and said, "You can’t sleep either?" That was him. The image of the loving father and husband she had seen in dream came to mind. Yes, if it had been possible, it would surely have been like that. Yes, if it had been possible, she could surely have been the happiest of the women at her side. She shook her head in silence.   
He sat beside her and for a moment, none of them spoke. Then it was he who broke the silence.   
“Look, before we go any further I want to say something.  
I appreciate that you brought me to see my sister and that you… well, that you were there to talk me down after we left.   
You’re a true friend and I… Love you. I just… wanted to tell you that.” 

_I love you._  
Like a caress in the heart.

 _I love you_  
Like a stab wound, too.

_I love you._

She could feel his eyes on her. He was waiting for her to say something.

_I can’t. I should tell you to go away, to leave me alone, that this was all a fleeting dream, but I can’t either. If I did, we would remain friends. It would be nice to always have you as a friend by my side. That would be wise._

“We’re in this together, Alistair."  
At least she was convinced of that.

"That we are. I have your back, you know that, right ? »

She took his hand and carried it to her lips. She felt his fingers glide over her skin in a light caress and soon his forehead landed on her temple. She pressed his palm against her cheek.   
It was too much to ask. She could not, she refused to imagine her life without that skin against hers, without those lips on hers, without those powerful arms to surround her.   
But her mouth remained silent, like a part of her heart that closed and she did not utter the words that burned in her soul. 

Soon the hand slipped away. He rose with a contained sigh, waited for a moment for her to speak and disappeared into the dark night.

**Author's Note:**

> My dad is a comics lover, so I grew surrounded by comics. One of my favorite one was and still is "Thorgal".  
> When I wrote this scene - especially Alistair's arrival at the dalish camp - I realised that there was something of a "Thorgal mood" in it.  
> www.thorgal.com
> 
> Alistair's beard was inspired by matt rhodes gorgeous concept art of Alistair as a king for The world of Thetas vol. 2.  
> I just love Alibeard, and I'm not the only one ;-)  
> https://casijaz.tumblr.com/post/626550239371886592/hey-limey-have-you-seen-matt-rhodes-concept-art  
> https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2Fhttps://ambellinaleander.artstation.com/projects/q4ZGa
> 
> Alistair's words when he declares his love are the one you can get after the meeting with his sister if you talk to him before you go back to camp and the "sex scene" triggers (if you have enough approval for that)


End file.
